Daily Office Reflection: Back Again

Out of Focus, I, jfd+  2012

Psalms 137:1-6(7-9), 144 * 104; Zechariah 14:12-27; Philippians 2:1-11; Luke 19:41-48

I have taken an extended break from writing on this blog, . I needed some time to reflect and think and recharge and find if this was something that was still an important part of my spiritual journey. And I have found over the last two months that even though I still read MP (most) everyday, those readings, that time spent with holy scripture, those precious and rare early morning moments where on occasion I felt the thin places of this earth present and palpable, were missing something, and did not stay with me throughout the day. The prayer and the centering quiet time, the milling thoughts and misplaced questions, remained somehow unfocused and incomplete...so I'm back.

Part of the excess of time I found in the morning was spent expressing myself in paints and sketches - some of which may appear in the upper right hand corner of these posts from time to time. My style and expressive qualities are morphing into something else than they have been in the past...and the stray thoughts that are placed here may do the same...It feels like I have been waiting for something...I don't know what, but something...Today being the last day of our church calendar year...our being on the very cusp of the precipice that is Advent and the dawn of a new church year, makes it appropriate that I am quasi-confessional in this post. For being out of focus, seeking something that is beyond ourselves, is part of what this seasonal change is asking us to risk opening ourselves to, and to which we can be seeking some resolution. 

Jesus is lamenting over the character that is Jerusalem in the Gospel of Luke in our reading today. Lamenting over its blindness, its myopia to his ministry and work and God's presence right there amongst them. An appropriate reading for this last day before we enter Advent. For what will we wait these next 24 days? What have we missed this past year that has been right in front of us the whole damn time? What in our life is lacking the love that awaits us, each of us, no matter what we think we may have done to not deserve it. Where are we out of focus and striving for something we cannot explain...Advent is a perfect time to patiently wait and explore those questions and the mysteries of God's embracing touch we so easily can ignore.

A blessed, holy, and enlightening Advent is my prayer and request and hope.
jfd+
Copyright 2012, The Rev. John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.