Daily Office Reflection: Keeping Watch

Psalms (70), 71 * 74; Judges 4:4-23; Acts 1:15-26; Matthew 27:55-66

Growing up, whenever my family heard about someone dying, my Mom and Dad would immediately start to think about who else has died recently. Their superstition was that deaths always come in threes, and they would get busy counting to make sure there were no more coming. Many times they couldn't come up with two more names and they would look at each other, usually not say anything, and they would begin the wait.

I don't know about this "three" thing, but I do know from recent personal experience that illnesses seem to run in batches. We seem to have a rash of illnesses in groups associated with my life right now, and all of those people who are ill have families who are waiting, who are watching. Much like Mary Magdalene and the other Mary do in today's reading after Joseph of Arimathea places Jesus' dead body in his tomb. Their waiting proved to be a fruitful exercise, although they did not know or understand what resurrection would be like. They were simply there doing their duty, doing what was right.

Some of these families who are waiting and watching their loved ones who are ill will be rewarded with recovery and a re-engagement with life. Some will be rewarded by being able to be with and witness their loved one dying. And that is a different kind of reward, for both the family and the one who has passed on: for passed on they have. Passed on to a new life, a union with God to which we are all headed. Although sad for those still here, because they won't see and be with their loved one any longer, it is not a cold comfort to know those who have moved on are now in a better place. Their watch is now over. 

We can be assured that there will be others.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Endings & Beginnings

Psalm 72 * 119:73-96; Judges 3:12-30; Acts 1:1-14; Matthew 27: 45-54

We have an interesting selection of readings in our lectionary today. In Judges we are at the beginning of the long spiral down for the people of Israel that is chronicled in this book. We are given the very beginning of Acts, where Jesus is with his disciples, post-resurrection and he gives his promise to the disciples of their receiving the Holy Spirit and then he ascends to Heaven. And in Matthew, Jesus dies on the cross today. Endings and beginnings all over the place.

Life is full of endings and beginnings: small and large, noticed and unnoticed. Each day begins and each day ends, and onward the cycle of life goes. It is so important that we not get stuck in a routine that allows us to ignore changes, to ignore endings and beginnings. These endings and beginnings allow us to appreciate life, which is far too short, whether we live 40 years or 100 years. Far too short to allow for ignoring what is all around us, the love that permeates all things and all of life. The readings today scream Wake up! Wake up to what is all around you, before it is too late and we don't awake in this world anymore, but in the one to come.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Come Down Now.

Psalms: 61, 62 * 68:1-20(21-23)24-36; Judges 2:1-5,11-23; Romans 16:17-27; Matthew 27:32-44

That was a refrain I heard a lot as a child. My Mom standing at the bottom of the stairs, yelling up to me in my room Come down now! Whether it was for dinner, or chores left undone, or simply to chase me out of the house for a few hours, that was a constant refrain of trying to extricate me from my room. I was usually reading or painting or day dreaming (this is pre-internet and pre-cable television days - dating myself, I know.....)

Jesus is taunted by that phrase in today's Gospel passage.  Passers-by as well as the chief priests yelled up to Jesus on that cross: You said you were King of Jews.....You saved others, save yourself....You said you would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, but you can't save yourself!...Come down now! And yet Jesus stays silent, bearing the weight of his cross, staying up there. I am certain that if he and God wanted to, he could have come down from that cross at any moment of his choosing...but he chose not to. Rather he chose to bear it, to complete the task set for him.

I have often wondered if some of those taunts weren't so much taunts as pleas for him to save himself and thereby his followers as well: come down now please, save yourself as you saved others.....don't leave us! All of us have faced situations (hopefully not as dire as Jesus' today) where we have had friends, family, acquaintances, ask us to halt from the course we have set, to put down the cross that we have taken up, to come down now from what we have taken up doing. I have found most of those requests come from a place of concern for my well-being, or at least their impression of what my well-being should look like. Jesus sets a different model for us today. We cannot answer the taunts or the pleas to Come down now if we are certain that the cross we are bearing, the hill we have agreed to climb, is what we have discerned to be what God wants us to bear, where God wants us to be. This can be a hard and lonely choice, and perhaps not always the right one, because, after all, none of us are the Messiah. But if we have that certainty, that knowledge deep within us, that what we are doing is the right thing, then we cannot Come down now. We can only do that when we are done.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: "Welcome All....."

Psalm 56, 57 (8) * 64, 65; Joshua 24:16-33; Romans 16:1-16; Matthew 27:24-31

I was driving through DC on Friday, running an errand. As I turned off Rhode Island Avenue onto North Capitol Street, I noticed a church parallel to the service road. It is a Roman Catholic Church named St. Martin's RC Church. I have passed it numerous times before, but something drew my attention to its front door. A banner hung above the main entrance. It is a large white banner with large black lettering, which says: WELCOME ALL SINNERS!

My initial reaction was to stop the car, go up and rip that stupid sign down. I didn't do this of course, as much as my fertile imagination dreamed up scenarios of my successfully doing so. 

This is not just a Roman Catholic thing, this approach to life from a negative space, it is rampant in the Protestant world as well, including parts of The Episcopal Church.  I think it is matter of where we start that is so important to how we perceive and understand our relationship to God, and through that relationship our understanding of the world. 

I won't quibble about the fact that as human beings we all have faults, we all (no matter our age or life experiences) have the ability to grow into being better people. Are some of those traits and foibles in us "sin"? Some most assuredly. But to dwell there seems a bit pathetic to me. By dwelling there it becomes, so easily, self-defeating and focused on self-abuse and self-castigation, and we lose the message that underlies what we read in Matthew today.

And that underlying message is one of an unquestionable love. A love that is open to everyone, no matter what we might think we have done that makes us unworthy. For NONE of us are unworthy: God's love is for all of us. Do we need to strive more towards the kingdom of heaven we hear Jesus preach about? Absolutely. But that striving is so much easier when we approach our relationship to God with God's love in the forefront of our efforts as opposed to the negative and self-defeating approach advocated by that banner above the church door.

Wherever you are on your walk with God, always remember that this unimaginable love is ours. Perhaps a large gallon of white paint to take out the last word on the sign would be sufficient, as opposed to ripping the whole thing down. How does WELCOME ALL sound?

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Not Alone

Psalms 55 * 138, 139:1-17(18-23); Joshua 23:1-16; Romans 15:25-33; Matthew 27:11-23

I find it hard to think of anything to say after such a strong passage from Matthew. Jesus stands mute. Pilate doesn't want to sentence him and tries to find a way out, but falls into his own trap. The crowd is whipped into a frenzy by priests and the elders who are scattered among the crowd. And Jesus stands quiet and alone. Except for three words, You say so, we don't hear anything from Jesus. 

In the face of the wrath of the crowd and the hatred of the religious leaders combined with his abandonment by his disciples, Jesus stands quiet and alone. Or seems to be. For even though he must have had numerous different human emotions raging through him at that moment (fear, anger, disappointment, sadness), he also knew something. He knew who he was, whose son he was. At 33 years old, he had three years of ministry under his belt. He knew what he had accomplished, and he had to have known, even though he was about to suffer and be hurt greatly, he must have known what was to come after the suffering. He must have known he was walking into the loving embrace of God. Perhaps that is what made his being quiet and alone more bearable for him.

When we are alone and feeling bereft, remembering that, in truth, we are not alone, that God is with us, God's love envelopes us, can help to alleviate those very difficult feelings and to move on in life.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Fear and Confusion

Psalms 50 *(59), 60 or 66, 67; Joshua 9:3-21; Romans 15:1-13; Matthew 26:69-75

When something frightens me, or when I feel threatened, I tend to hunker down, go inward, put up walls around me. It is an instinctual response for me. I am more self-aware than I used to be, so I do recognize when I am going into "that mode" of operation and do my best to stop myself from completely shutting down my emotions. Professional therapy has helped me understand why I react in that manner and how to approach these situations in a more conscious and healthy manner.

Peter was acting out of a deep place of fear and confusion today. The man he named as Messiah and whom he has followed, leaving family and livelihood behind, just told him that betrayal and denial where in his future and then he sees him arrested and all the disciples and friends scattered away. Peter is alone, watching the man he loves be tortured, abused and denigrated. Peter had to be confused and deeply fearful when someone points at him and says he is one of Jesus' followers. Peter just reacted and lied and denied knowing Jesus: doing it two more times. Then the cock crows and Peter wakes up to what he has just done: lived into what he had been told he would do.

Peter was human, acting from a place of confusion and fear. An uneducated fisherman in a large city, witnessing the power brokers of that place flex their muscles in taking away the touch-stone of his existence. Perhaps this is some of the rationalization Peter did when he realized what he had just done, or perhaps he just felt like crap for betraying Jesus' trust, for being who Jesus knew him to be. Perhaps through this experience, Peter got to know and accept himself better. Perhaps this learning helped him become the rock on which Jesus founded his church. Perhaps this learning allowed him to be the leader he became for the fledgling church about to be born. Perhaps.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Crowds and Mobs

Psalms 119:49-72; Joshua 8:30-35; Romans 14:13-23; Matthew 26:57-68

I was at a baseball game recently sitting out in the right field bleachers. It was a beautiful evening, the stadium was crowded, people were talking, watching the game, buying beer and sodas and pretzels and peanuts and hot dogs: most everyone just having a grand ole time.

Over in the center field bleachers there was a group of younger men who, throughout the evening, kept trying to get the crowd to "do the wave": where people raise their hands and jump out of their seat all around the particular tier of the ball park, making what appears to be a human tidal wave moving around the stadium. Try as they might they just couldn't get the "wave" going. The crowd just wasn't into it that evening.

A "crowd mentality" can be unpredictable: it can be infectiously fun but it can also be infectiously dangerous. When it is the latter the "crowd" usually becomes known as a "mob": something unruly and uncontrollable where conscious thought leaves and people begin to act in ways that are less then up to society's standards of decency.

We have just such a mob mentality develop at the end of today's Gospel reading where the crowd around the high priest, who has just rent his garments, are pushing on, spitting on, slapping and tormenting Jesus. They were whipped into a frenzy by his calm presence and demeanor and by the manipulation of them by the high priest Caiaphas. This crowd of people did develop into a mob.

Although I have never been caught up in a mob mentality, I have been in situations where great joy has permeated through a group, where those feelings of camaraderie are communally felt. The opposite of that kind of experience is what appears to have happened with Jesus when he was brought before Caiaphas. And I can't help but wonder, in what circumstances am I brought to a frenzy to do things that are not right, without thought. What circumstances are going on in today's world that requires us to take a step back and not get caught up in a mob mentality.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Sweet Mary

MP: Psalm 116; Zephaniah 3:14-20; Mark 15:47-16:7

EP: Psalms 30, 149; Exodus 15:19-21; 2Corinthians 1:3-7

Today is the feast day of St. Mary Magdalene. There are many stories and theories about Mary that have developed through the centuries about this woman. From the Gospel accounts we know she was healed by Jesus early on in his ministry. After that healing she became one of Jesus' followers, ever present, one of the few to stay and witness his crucifixion and then one of the individuals to go to the tomb to first discover what would later be understood as his resurrection. She is also, in the Gospel of John, the first person to whom the resurrected Jesus makes himself known.

In the Orthodox Christian Church, their tradition places her on a par with the 11 apostles. Alas, our western tradition has not done that: our tradition co-opted to a much more misogynistic understanding and translation of the Scriptures. We do accord her this honor of giving her a saint's feast day, which is the minimum of the recognition that should be afforded her.

Mary of Magdala certainly understood, and lived into what we hear from the prophet Zephaniah today: Do not fear...The Lord, your God, is in your midst...he will renew you in his love, he will exult over you with loud singing...And will save the lame and gather the outcast, and will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. Mary appears to have been an outcast before she met and was healed by Jesus. She recognized and altered her life because of that discernment and was a faithful witness, friend, companion and apostle of Jesus. I cannot help but think and hope and pray that the Church of England's decision to (finally) consecrate women as bishops of the Church is done with the model of Mary of Magdala in mind. A better model would be hard to find.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Finding Our Way

Psalms 41, 52 * 44; Joshua 7:1-13; Romans 13:8-14; Matthew 26: 36-46

We can be remarkably resourceful and strong sometimes and phenomenally weak at other times.  We can dig down and find the strength and courage to do miraculous things, and the next moment, just miss the point completely.

The disciples have done remarkable things whilst trekking around the countryside with Jesus. Chief among those remarkable things is their decision to leave home, family, livelihoods behind to follow Jesus. In today's Gospel we are in the Garden of Gethsemane where the group has just come from The Last Supper where very peculiar things had occurred: Jesus washing his followers' feet, the identification of the betrayer, the prediction of denial. And now the disciples see their master in great distress and they can't keep awake.

Jesus does not castigate them or berate them for their lack of fortitude. He accepts their behavior knowing he must blaze the trail ahead alone. He knows their weaknesses and knows they will face their own times of trial ahead, that they will face bravely and brilliantly, with moments of distraction and misdirection. I think that is part of being human. We find our way, lose it and find our way back. And we repeat this pattern over and over again, individually and corporately. Their are a number of great gifts in this cycle: one is that God's love for us is so great that it is always there for us when we find our way back; and two is the fact that finding our way back is a lot easier because we know of that great love.

Certainly we would prefer to remain undistracted and not misdirected. But if history and our basic human nature is any indicator, we will at some point find ourselves asleep in a garden when we should have been awake. Knowing that we will be forgiven our ineptness makes finding the way back a much easier journey.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: The Four Movements

Psalms 30, 32 * 42, 43; Joshua 6:1-14; Romans 13:1-7; Matthew 26:26-35

In the Gospel reading today we have Jesus instituting the Eucharist, in which their are four distinct movements: taking, blessing, breaking, giving. Jesus took the bread, blessed the bread, broke the bread and then gave the bread.

Whenever we have a Eucharistic Celebration we say those same words during the Eucharistic Prayer, and we also actually act them out. The priest takes the bread, many times presented during an Offertory procession. During the Eucharistic Prayer the bread is blessed. After the Lord's Prayer the priest breaks the bread, many times accompanied by a Fraction Anthem. And then the bread is given to the people to share in the meal. In word and action we are mimicking The Last Supper, at each and every Eucharist. 

Shortly after I had first chatted with the rector of my sponsoring parish about this odd desire I felt, this tug to investigate ordination, I attended an instructed Eucharist. At this Eucharist the second lesson was a reading from Paul, where these words we hear in Matthew today are uttered. I was asked to read these words, and it was the first time I said them aloud: take, bless, break, give. I can still remember the chill that ran down my spine when I said those words. That same kind of unnerving chill (magnified a hundredfold) went through me when I was Celebrant at my first Eucharist.

These are important words. These are important actions. They are a recreation of that fateful last meal. They are, by word and by deed, signs that: Christ was here, Christ was killed, Christ rose from the dead and is with us still.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Our Truthful Sub-Conscious

Psalms 31 * 35; Joshua 4:19-5:1,10-15; Romans 12:9-21; Matthew 26:17-25

I have noticed that many people in times of stress will say things that are truthful, obvious and something they would not normally say given time to think. This seems to me to be the sub-conscious blurting out the truth, whether it is appropriate or not for those things to be said in that moment. 

A friend of mine had just started a new job and was extremely nervous. He was being introduced to numerous people, struggling to try and lodge people's names in his mind for the next time he bumped into them in the office corridor. One particular woman he was introduced to, named Irene Smith, had a large wart-like growth on her face. Looking at the wart, he tried to associate the growth with her name, thereby making Irene stick in his brain. He stuck out his hand and said nice to meet you Ms. Wart. 

I wonder if Judas had a similar brain-fart moment when he asked Jesus Surely not I, Rabbi, in today's Gospel. For we know he had already struck his deal with the Jewish leadership to betray Jesus. Why not just keep your mouth shut? I think, at least for those of us who are not ill psychologically, we want to tell the truth. There is an innate goodness in all of us and being truthful is part of that goodness. We see it all the time in children who can be so blatantly honest in their comments: no filter yet having been installed. This gets beat out of us by the proprieties of societal norms, and those urges to state the obvious get pushed down in our brain. But in times of stress, that desire to be honest can bubble up at socially uncomfortable times. Perhaps we need to pay attention to those moments, for truth can lead us to new places of hope and opportunity. Seeing things clearly, not through a lens of manufactured niceties, can help bring the kingdom to fruition, no matter how seemingly embarrassing those moments may be.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Our Calling

Psalms 38 * 119:25-48; Joshua 3:1-13; Romans 11:25-36; Matthew 25:31-46

We are given a very clear definition of what we are called to do in this life in today's Gospel reading: feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, care for the sick, visit those in prison. It's clear and it is fairly simple and yet after 2000 years many of us still stand condemned by these words: condemned for our lack of action on them (me chief among them).

I must be cranky this morning 'cause I don't think I have to say anything else.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Going For It

Psalms 26, 28 * 36, 39; Joshua 2:15-24 Romans 13-24; Matthew 25:14-30

One talent in Jesus' time equated to (approximately) the life-time's earnings of a common person. So for a slave to be given five or two or even one talent would have been understood to the listeners of this parable as something unusual and an absolutely unheard of amount of money and responsibility given over to a slave. 

Two of these individuals were smart and savvy enough to double what they had been given. One buried his treasure and then returned it unchanged upon the master's return. This last is treated quite harshly by the master in the parable.

We all have gifts, some innate some learned. These gifts, these talents if you will, cannot be left untouched, unused. That is a great waste. Many of our churches have endowments that have been gifts. These too must be put to use: those endowments themselves being talents, being gifts. To insist on keeping the status quo out of fear of change, or loss, is not to be good stewards of the talents we have been gifted. In fact, those talents when they are unused get frittered away over time and become worthless because we don't go for it, go for the gold. We cannot sit and be melancholy about a past time, afraid to step into the future. Gifts, talents, resources must be used to further the kingdom's presence among us. Going for it is what this parable instructs us to do, as scary as the prospect of stepping out into the unknown is to all of us. 

We can plan for what is to come, but we don't really know what it will look like or be until we live into it. With God's help we will be able to at least double a lifetime's amount of gifts.

jfd+

Copyright 2008. John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Readiness

Psalms 25 * 9, 15; Joshua 2:1-14; Romans 11:1-12; Matthew 25:1-13

I got up late this morning....Well late for me.  I woke up around 5 AM and thought, nope, not yet, not getting out of bed yet and rolled over. I reawakened about 6:45 AM, which is late for me.... early for vast swaths of people, but late for me. When this happens, for the rest of the day, I know I will feel as if I am always running behind: late for something. This is a silly feeling for I have no appointments this morning, and Mondays are normally my "clean-up from the weekend day and plan for next Sunday day". The office is always a bit more quiet on a Monday (helped by the fact that the rector takes Mondays off). As I'm preaching this coming Sunday, I usually use today also as a research and thinking day of how I might like to "shape" my sermon. So there really is no reason to worry or feel that I am running late today....but I already feel that pressure building, as imaginary and self-imposed as it may be.

And the Gospel reading from today's Daily Office doesn't help much with that feeling of impending "lateness" as we are given the parable of the Kingdom of Heaven being like the 10 bridesmaids. Perhaps that early rising-always planning-watchfulness comes from a deep rooted desire to be ready. But ready for what? I am sure it is not being ready for Jesus' return...but a readiness to do what God calls me to do, whatever that may be, whatever I may discern that to be. No one likes to be (or even worse) look foolish: I know I don't want to be one of the foolish bridesmaids without enough lamp oil....but try as I might, there are days and times when I am exactly like them.

Being ready I think has a lot to do with finding an inner peace: a place where we can find the strength to be gentle with ourselves and with others. A place where we find that wick that can light the flame that illumines God's love for us, God's gentleness and patience with us: even when we get up late.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Recognized Timing

Psalms 20, 21:1-7(8-14) *10:1-5(6-10), 116, 117; Deuteronomy 14:1-12; Romans 10:14-21; Matthew 24:32-51

There is some innate sense in all of us that we know when it is time to move on, and it is one of those pieces of information that we (many times) ignore. Sometimes we ignore it because we just don't want change at that particular moment in time. Sometimes we ignore that knowledge that it is time to move on because there is a part of us that likes what we are doing. Sometimes it is because we are wallowing in remembrances of good times past and are melancholic at the thought of actually leaving something behind that has already left us far behind. 

It can be a very hard thing to let go, to move on, to try something new. But if we don't allow ourselves these opportunities we will all stagnate and cease to grow as fully human persons. Much like Jesus tells us today to take a lesson from the fig tree and its fruit, we too must be vigilant to signs that the time has come for change because in reality, nothing stays the same in life. Everything is always evolving and moving. This reality can make life much more enjoyable to live then to sit stuck in a past, that is long since past.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Endings

Psalms 16, 17 * 22; Deuteronomy 31:7-13,24-32:4; Romans 10:1-13; Matthew 24:15-31

All things in life come to an end: jobs, relationships, where we live, our favorite store or restaurant closing, a beloved automobile or watch stops working, and our own lives. Everything has a time span, a limit that is reached at some point.

We are in a seemingly rough patch of Matthew's Gospel right now. It's all about eschatology: the end times. This theological principle is steeped in ancient Jewish traditions and relies heavily on the Book of Daniel here. Matthew's original listeners would have known and understood this quite well. But what are we to make of this rather obtuse and (actually) pretty scary writing?

If we do not take this literally, but extrapolate out a bit, we can see that Matthew is making absolutely clear that Christ is the end of all things. That Christ is what we are all striving for in this life, and when we reach the end, which all of us will do at some point, the whole purpose of our life, all that we have been, all that we are, all that we could have been, is rolled up into the Christological concept that Christ is the center of all things. Christ is the means and the ends in life and is around whom we are called to focus our attention, focus our purpose and focus our work. 

In a secular and materialistic world, this is incredibly counter-cultural. Yet that is the model we are provided in all NT Scripture: Christ doing the unexpected, being with individuals who are not part of the mainstream culture. Christ is the beginning, the middle and the end for all of us.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved

Daily Office Reflection: Fending Off Cold

Psalms 18:1-20 * 18:21-50; Deuteronomy 3:18-28; Romans 9:19-33; Matthew 24:1-24

And because of the increase of lawlessness, the love of many will grow cold.  

Jesus has just finished a fairly extensive and strong condemnation of the pharisees and scribes in the previous chapter and has just "left the building". His disciples catch up to him and instead of talking about what he just shouted at the the leaders of the temple, they point out to to him the aspects of the temple building itself. Jesus continues with the theme he had just been explicating to the pharisees and scribes, by predicting the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem and then lists the aspects of "the end times".

Matthew wrote this Gospel after the fall of Jerusalem to the Romans, and their destruction of the temple. He was writing to a group of Jewish Christians much persecuted encouraging them to hang on to their faith during this time of persecution, famine, war, distrust and fragmentation of the faithful. I have read this passage innumerable times, but the verse And because of the increase in lawlessness, the love of many will grow cold never stood out for me before. What a simple yet true idea. 

When we face difficult times, and the world around us seems to be imploding, Jesus is warning us about a coldness of heart that can come overcome us. This is a natural, self-protective reaction we as human beings can have. Jesus instructs us to carry-on, to endeavor not to let that coldness take over who and what we are as his disciples, as the Body of Christ in the world today. For a coldness of heart takes us away from the "new" commandment Jesus gives us: to love our neighbor as ourselves. With a cold heart we cannot do this thing that is the center of who we are and from which all else blossoms and is a fitting end to his theme of cleaning the inside, not just polishing the outside. For to love is the hardest and easiest thing to do, and takes daily attention. 

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Mother Hen

Psalms 119:1-24 * 12, 13, 14; Deuteronomy 1:1-18; Romans 9:1-18; Matthew 23:27-39

My dog Allie was the runt of her mother's litter. She was the "last one out" so to speak: and by c-section at that. She was and is the smallest of the litter, weighing in at about 70 pounds right now, whilst her oldest brother Gus is 140 pounds (!!). It is hard to remember these beautiful and quite large creatures could fit in the palm of your hand a mere 18 months ago. 

Allie's mom is Frieda. This was her first litter and yet she knew, instinctively, what to do: how to guard them, protect them, clean them, feed them, nurture them, scold them (occasionally). I remember one time when there were a number of people at the rectory visiting with the very young puppies, which Frieda tolerated generously and very well, when the last person had left the kennel area where the puppies were corralled, Frieda went over and checked on each one. She almost appeared to be counting them, which she probably was. This motherly instinct was extremely touching to witness.

Frieda's care for her pups came to mind at the end of today's Gospel reading from Matthew. Jesus is continuing his harangue of the pharisees and scribes and predicts the destruction of Jerusalem today. But he ends with How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! We need to pay attention to the harangue that comes before this statement, yet this verse is a beautiful image of God's love and care for us. We see and hear about this image of God quite frequently in Scripture (a mother caring for her children, etc) and we are reminded today that we have to want to be under that wing: it is our choice. As hard as Jesus' words are today, there is this olive branch extended to us, reminding us of God's unwavering love for us: all we need do is waddle under the protective cover of that wing, and all will be well. Not what we expect or necessarily want, but it will be well.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Cleaning

Psalms 5, 6 * 10, 11; Numbers 35:1-3,9-15,30-34; Romans 8:31-39; Matthew 23:13-26

I returned from vacation yesterday afternoon, spending the remainder of the day: unpacking, doing laundry, sorting through mail, watering dying plants and trying to fight a feeling of "let-down". When I have a particularly good vacation, it is always hard to come back to real-life, and this vacation just over was simply wonderful. (The picture here is a sunrise on the Provincetown flats, at low tide, taken from the terrace of the place I rent.) There is a big part of me that wants to go back there, right now, but I know that I can't: pastoral responsibilities keep me here, things I have agreed to accomplish keep me here and, of course,  the need to make money so I can afford to pamper myself and go there again next year keep me here.

One of the things I did whilst on vacation was stick to a decision to participate in a self-imposed "internet blackout". I didn't check emails (for either personal or St. Thomas'), I didn't read my favorite blogs or write on this one, I didn't read my newspapers and periodicals I have bookmarked. If I wanted news I watched TV (which I kept off most times) or bought a newspaper. I painted, biked, hiked, let my dog run free on the beach with other dogs, I read a lot, prayed a good deal and just let things go.

Jesus is tearing into the Pharisees today. One of things that jumps out of these verses for me is the need for us to take care of our insides before we can take care of others. My self-imposed internet blackout was part of that personal cleaning this vacation afforded me. I felt like I was on retreat, without the rigors of a retreat house (although those can be very nice too). I feel much refreshed and ready, although 10 days is really not enough time. Nevertheless, there are (no kidding) hundreds of emails to read through, and I think I am ready, I think I am sufficiently centered to face what comes, although you may catch me daydreaming about sunrises over water.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Compassionate Touching

Psalms 102 * 107:1-32; Numbers 20:1-13; Romans 5:12-21; Matthew 20:29-34

I am headed up to Cape Cod today for a week's vacation. This picture is what is right outside the living room window of the place I rent every year. Although a long slow drive is in front of me, there is this place, this Shangri-la, awaiting my arrival. I have been going to this place for about ten years now, and although I don't own it and I go only once a year for a week or two, it still has the feeling of home to me: I can decompress very quickly in this setting.

Decompression is important, relaxing and letting go is important, these are all things that help re-center me. I am bringing some art projects and an idea for a new book with me: I may or may not get to any of these things. But having options available is not a bad idea. There is a certain compassionate understanding of the world that can come from this re-centering I am about to enter into this week. A compassionate understanding of myself, of my needs, wants and desires. A compassionate understanding of the world that I inhabit, both close in to me, and seemingly further away from my daily existence.

Out of his compassion, Jesus touches two blind men today, sitting on the side of the road as he leaves Jericho. These two were not part of Jesus' close-in world, they didn't touch him metaphorically, yet he touched them: in spirit and physically. It would have been very easy for Jesus to keep going on his way, oblivious of their plight, absorbed in his own trek to Jerusalem. Yet, he didn't stay inner-focused but heard their cries, and out of compassion touched and healed them. I wonder who I will pass today and whether I can have some of that compassion to touch those I pass and not be so self-absorbed in my own trek north.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: The Hard News

Psalms 105:1-22 * 105:23-45; Numbers 17:1-11; Romans 5:1-11; Matthew 20:17-28

In seminary, one of my first Bible classes was an overview of the New Testament. The professor, in our review of Matthew, often said that a verse we have in today's reading summed up the entire Gospel of Matthew. That verse is 20:28 and it says (in part): The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.

There is something in our DNA as human beings that makes us want to be noticed, to be rewarded, to be seen with and among the movers and shakers of this world. There is a certain thrill that comes with seeing someone famous and then getting your picture taken with them. I have two on my office wall: one of me with Desmond Tutu and another of me and Gene Robinson. I remember how thrilling it was to meet them, chat with them and then have those moments memorialized in a photograph. Think about all those photo-ops with political candidates that have recently happened in the presidential campaign...There is nothing inherently wrong in these kind of actions and opportunities, but a dangerous misconception about what is really important in the world can be engendered from this mindset if we let it become the focus of our world.

The hard news of today's Gospel is that this loving Jesus and this loving God we worship and praise tells his disciples for the second time today that he is heading to torture and death and resurrection. That he is not the kind of king they are used to, or in fact the kind of leader we are used to having our picture taken with. The hard news is that as nice as those moments of celebrity are, they are not what we are called to in this life. Those real moments of celebrity are the ones that only you and someone you are helping (and God) know about. Those small moments of joy brought to someone in need by a servant leader is what it is all about. That is hard news to hear, but there is also relief in the knowledge that it is not all about us as individuals, but that it is all about all of us collectively doing this quiet work creating the kingdom for all of us to revel and share in.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: On Being Equal

Psalms: 101, 109:1-4(5-19) * 119:121-144; Numbers 16:16-50; Romans 4:13-25; Matthew 20:1-16

In God's eyes we are all equal. That is made pretty clear today in the parable Jesus tells of the landowner hiring laborers for the vineyard.  This landowner paid the same wage whether the hired laborer worked all day or just one hour at the end of the day. 

Growing up I found a basic lack of fairness in this parable, often times agreeing with the individual who was first hired: Hey I was here first, I worked longer and harder then these other folks. I deserve more then they get! And that attitude is emblematic of how most of our culture works and has worked since Jesus told this parable 2000 years ago.

I remember also thinking, when I would hear this parable, how unfair it is for people to make deathbed conversions and be forgiven of all their misdeeds, while those who struggle everyday to live into the kingdom are given no special treatment at the end. How is that fair?

But as in all things Jesus says, there are multiple meanings in this parable. One of those is that Jesus expects us to see the world through different lenses then the ones we are accustomed to utilizing. The kingdom Jesus is proclaiming is radically different to what we expect, if we are basing those expectations on the familiar and the common. Everyone is invited into the kingdom and everyone who finds it, does so at their own pace, in their own manner. And at the end, all of us who work for the effectuation of the kingdom are equal in God's eyes, whether we worked one hour, one day or most of our lives. And there is a fairness here, because there is a great reward in working at moving the world toward the kingdom Jesus is proclaiming. And that reward is the work itself, for that work is not grunt work, or unnecessary, but a work of joy and love and an understanding of the world that is different from the general understanding of what fairness means. For it is never too late, nor is it ever too early, to be part of the kingdom of God, to be one with the one who created us and loves us, as we have been created.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Preparing

MP: Psalms 82, 98; Malachi 3:1-5; John 3:22-30

EP: Psalm 80; Malachi 4:1-6; Matthew 11:2-19

While I was growing up, my older brother would often remind me that he prepared the way for me. He is two years older then I am and so would do things before me, try things out that children often do, get into trouble for various things. When I would do similar things a short while later, my parents were already familiar with the resulting havoc and I would either not be punished or be punished to a lesser extent then he had been for doing the same thing. He trail-blazed for me.

Likewise, I trail-blazed for my younger brother, who was born five years after me. In my estimation, he got away with murder with his antics...I'm sure my feelings mimicked my older brother's feelings toward me. In someways in life, we all are trail-blazers for those who come after us. Perhaps there are times when that blazing trail we are setting can have affects on us that are not all that pleasant, but looking back on them we can see the good that we do: the tilled earth being easier to sow for those who inevitably follow after us.

Today we remember and celebrate the birth of John the Baptist, the trail-blazer of trail-blazers. I have read a number of commentaries where John the Baptist is thought of as a melancholy trail-blazer. I don't think those are completely accurate portraits. I think John knew, while he was still being carried in Elizabeth's womb, what his role in life was going to be, what his role in history was going to be: that he would make it just a little bit easier for the holy one. The holy one who was to begin his journey by walking along the path John the Baptist began, and then blaze ahead. I am sure John was confident and proud of his cousin, Jesus, son of Mary. Perhaps a bit melancholy, but those feelings, although human, were probably over-taken by a sense that I helped, in a small way, for the one to come after me.

In church life, this is one of the things we are called to do, in our being stewards of the gifts given to us: caring for those things left to us that blazed the trail before, but to also bring the church along the path God has set us on. We are not to sit stagnant pining for times past, but to continue blazing the trail so that those who come after will have it a little bit easier whilst they continue the journey and trail-blaze: always moving closer and closer to effectuating the kingdom promised.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Touch

Psalms 89:1-18 * 89:19-52; Numbers 16:1-19; Romans 3:21-31; Matthew 19:13-22

Very often when we buy new things, we like to touch them, hold them. Perhaps as we pass these new purchases by, we reach out and run our hand through them or across them. That sensory perception afforded us by our touching something can be an important part of our initial connection to that item.

It is also true that when we see someone we know, or we haven't seen in a while, we reach out to touch them somehow: shaking hands, a hug, a pat on the shoulder, a squeeze on the arm; a kiss on the cheek. That touch is an important part of the connectedness we all share with other human beings. When someone suffers a loss, is in grief or sorrow, we often times reach out to touch, to hug, to hold that person's hand while they weep. Again, that physical, tangible reminder that we are not alone, that there is someone physically with us at that moment in time is important.

Jesus is laying hands on children today, praying for each one of them, blessing each one of them. That physical touch on each child was something deeply personal for each one of them, but also for those witnessing those moments of blessing. In church there are moments of touching: the Peace, a baptism, confirmation, reception or reaffirmation, ordinations, consecrations. And outside of church, anointing of the sick and the dying involve touch, a physical manifestation of blessings. God wants to touch us, to bless us and wants us to do that to each other. 

Jesus also talks about another kind of touch today. In talking with a man inquiring how to be holy, he finally asks the man to sell all his possessions giving the earnings from those sales to the poor, and then to follow him. That man left deeply grieved because he had many possessions. That unnamed individual,  (Matthew uses the phrase Then someone came to him and said....), was touched in a different way. He was touched, possessed really, by those items he owned. Jesus recognized this unbalance in this anonymous man, and wanted to have him rethink his priorities, to understand what it means to be touched: touched by one who cares for us, by one who loves us, by one who blesses us by that touch.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Loving Forgiveness

Psalms 88 * 91, 92; Numbers 13:1-3,21-30; Romans 2:25-3:8; Matthew 18:2-35

From where does forgiveness come within ourselves?

I had a parishioner visit me who was very much distressed. He is a single father who has been supporting his son through college. His son had been taking the money his father had been sending him, and instead of using it to pay for tuition, rent, utilities, books and supplies he had been using it to buy clothes, go out partying, buying his friends dinner and drinks.  Instead of paying for school, he had been applying for loans, which he maxed-out on  fairly quickly. This behavior went on for months and months and he finally failed out of school, bringing the lie he had been living out into the clear light of day. When his father found out, and he realized the thousands of dollars lost, he was justifiably angry.

We visited for a long time the day he came in to talk to me about this. He talked about his overwhelming feeling of anger and not knowing what to do with and about his son, he talked about betrayal and the outright lies, and was concerned about how he was ever going to trust his son again. That was a repeated refrain in our conversation. At the very end of his discussion with me, he asked me the question I think he wanted to ask me from the moment he walked in my office. He asked How will I ever be able to forgive my son?  This, above all the other emotions he was feeling, was the question he was most concerned about.

I asked him if he still loved his son. And he said yes. I told him not to confuse trust or forgetting with forgiveness, for forgiveness comes from our love for the other. I told him that he may never be able to trust his son the same way again, or forget the betrayal he feels for his sons actions, but those are not the same thing as forgiveness. Forgiveness comes from the heart, it comes from our love. It won't come right away, we have to consciously work at it. Feeling angry is, many times, appropriate, but we can't let our anger get the better of us. Feeling the anger, recognizing it for the emotion that it is and then letting it go is an important part of healing. Trust and forgetting may never come but forgiveness of those who transgress against us can and will come in time if we open our heart and remember the love we have that is so deeply rooted within our being. Forgetting and trust may come too over the course of time, but that is not as sure. 

Forgiveness is a sure thing and an important part of our healing when we have been wronged. We know that from the model God provides for us, the model Jesus provides for us. We are so deeply loved by God that we can be and are forgiven by this omnipresent God whose love knows no bounds, whose arms can encircle us, embracing us if only we decide to walk into that embrace. 

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Building the Kingdom

Psalms (83), 34 * 85, 86; Numbers 12:1-16; Romans :12-24; Matthew 18:10-20

I was watching the Top Chef wrap up show last night. This season ending event is where all the chefs get together to re-hash the past season, view out-takes from clips that did not make it into the show. They also give $10,000 to the "fan favorite", voted by the viewing audience.

This and most of the reality television shows are about winning: who wins and who loses; who gets voted off the show by a panel of judges, the audience, viewers calling in or voting on line. There is an excitement that builds and blogs with viewer commentary: much of it nasty. So much of our society and culture revolves around winning and losing: competing with, being better then those with whom we are walking through this life.

The Kingdom of God is something different then that. Yesterday Jesus pulled a child into the circle of discussion he was in with his apostles and disciples. He said yesterday in response to a question about who is the greatest among the apostles and disciples, that Unless you change and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus continues in that same vein today when he says Take care that you do not despise one of these little ones. 

Who are these little ones to whom Jesus is referring? Some say it is children, others say it is those who are down-trodden and outcast. I think that is too narrow a reading, for Jesus tells all of us to become like children and then in the next sentence says do not despise one of these little ones. Jesus is referring to all of us; all of us are these little ones. All of us are equal in God's eyes and will be searched for when lost and rejoiced over when we are found.

Although at some level interesting and entertaining to watch, any competition which casts aside someone is not what the Kingdom of God is like or about. For those who are competitive by nature and insist on winning, "good on you" as my British friends would say. But that is not capital worth a penny in God's Kingdom. Being like one of these little ones, finding one of the lost little ones and rejoicing over the finding, sharing with and caring for each other is building the Kingdom. That is a different definition of competition, this is a different way of viewing and being in the world. And it is so very different then the world in which we live. And it is so hard not to get pulled into that mind-set of who is the greatest. Sure it is an awesome thing to compete and relish the gifts God has given each and every one of us. But that is not what building the Kingdom is about.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Innocence

Psalms 119:97-120 * 81, 82; Numbers 11:24-33; Romans 1:28-2:11; Matthew 18:1-9

Have you ever watched children? Their curiosity, precociousness, intensity of focus and curiosity (if but momentary), the simpleness of their joy, their imaginations and trust, their ability to love without reserve, their need to know that they are protected, their innocence of the cruelty that surounds them, are some of the things Jesus is instructing us to model today.

We lose so much of that innocence, sense of wonder and humbleness as we grow older and become more self-reliant. There is a part of us that must act like that in order to survive in this world. In our relationship to God though, we must understand that we cannot define God's boundaries, we cannot define what God can and cannot do. For just as a child can have great joy with the empty box the $500 gift came in, ignoring the gift itself, but playing with the container instead, so must we understand what humbleness means in our relationship with God. What innocence and trust mean in our relationship with God. Even though there is great evil in the world, there is also great good, some of it made by human hands, much of it divine.

Just as Jesus holds the child today, so too are we held by God, loved by God. Grabbing onto that innocence we had as children is something we are reminded of today. This is not an easy thing to do.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection:

Psalms 78:1-39 * 78:40-72; Numbers 11:1-23; Romans 1:16-25; Matthew 17:22-27

Today's Gospel account is a rather difficult one in many respects. A thumbnail sketch of today's selection: Jesus makes his second proclamation of his passion and death and resurrection, he talks about paying temple taxes and then instructs Peter to pay that tax from a coin pulled from a fish's mouth.

Jesus tells Peter the reason they should pay the temple tax is so that they do not give offense to them. This from the man who will go into the synagogue in Jerusalem and overturn tables and throw out the money changers and who constantly challenges the authority of the Pharisees and Sadducees. What is Jesus getting at here with this instruction that they not give offense to them? 

For me this ties into Jesus' instruction to turn the other cheek when we are struck, to give someone your shirt too when they ask you for your coat, and the examination of the Roman coin with Caesar's head on it. But today's is complicated by the way Jesus obtains the coin to pay this temple tax. 

Jesus asks Peter to whom do kings on earth take from: their children or others. Peter correctly replies from others and Jesus then says well then, the children are free, aren't they? Perhaps what we are asked to consider today is to keep the proper perspective when we are asked to do things that we consider to be wrong, incongruous with our beliefs or hypocritical. If we can stay centered on and focused on God and the promises God has made to us, having to be involved with things that are distasteful perhaps will make them a bit more palatable. We are also provided with an example of how it is considered okay to be imaginative and creative in how we effectuate and respond to those demands. From what proverbial fish can we pull that proverbial coin in order not to give offense to those with whom we disagree? That is something worthwhile to chew on today!

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Moving Mountains

Psalms 80 * 77 (79); Numbers 9:15-23, 10:29-36; Romans 1:1-15; Matthew 17:14-21.

if you have the faith of a mustard seed... nothing will be impossible for you.

Our church marched in the DC Pride Parade on Saturday evening. 'Twas a rainy affair this year. The Bishop of Washington was there with us riding in his own convertible (provided by St. Thomas'). Our rector and I rode in our own convertible (provided by our senior warden and his partner), throwing beads and mints that contained St. T's logo and website address. We were amazed how many people stayed to watch the parade, despite the rain. I was amazed how many people came up to the car to take beads, candy but many just wanted to "high five" us. There was genuine excitement in their faces and in their eyes. I saw that they saw possibility by our presence. Possibility of acceptance, possibility of love, possibility that something they know deep down in their true inner selves could be awakened: that they could be in a spiritual home that affirms who they are and how God made them. 

That spark, that hope is such a fragile thing, much like faith can be. Yet a little faith, the size of a mustard seed (a tiny seed at that) is enough. It is enough to make the seemingly impossible happen, chief among those impossible things, is the sure and confident knowledge that we are loved, for who we are. So many people have been damaged by the intolerance and narrow-minded focus of religious leaders. Mustard seeds are tough things, that can survive lots of torment. So is that mustard seed of faith that resides deep within us, on which we need to lean in order to survive. For God's deep and abiding love exists for each one of us. That is something worth striving for, and the mountains that we place in the way  and that are placed in our way of finding that love can be moved by a small seed of faith, from which unimaginable beauty can grow.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: Living Into the Mystery

Psalms 75, 76 * 23, 27; Numbers 3:1-13; Galatians 6:11-18, Matthew 17:1-13

Today we celebrate Basil the Great who was a Bishop of the early church (the 4th Century) who, among other great deeds, fought the heresy of Arianism, and was a staunch defender of the developing Nicene Creed as well as the developing understanding of the Trinity. 

Quite by accident our Daily Office readings for the day include Matthew's account of the Transfiguration of Jesus, where to an audience of three people, Peter, James and John, Jesus' countenance changed to a brilliance that could not be looked at and a voice thundered from heaven identifying Jesus as Son, Beloved, someone to be listened to. Think about Peter, James and John and the confusing time they have had with Jesus. He had recently asked who people said he was and Peter gets it right by saying the Messiah, to which Jesus admits that is the truth: how confusing that must have been for them to hear, even if they did guess it. Then Jesus describes his coming Passion and death and they recoil, in particular Peter, and Jesus rebukes him. Now it is six days later and they are on a mountain with Jesus and this amazing, unimaginable and probably quite frightening thing happens before their eyes: where the beauty and magnificence that is God is glimpsed by them.

Arianism, among other things, argued that Jesus was lesser then God, and that the Holy Spirit was lesser then Jesus: that Jesus was not truly divine and truly human. Today's Gospel account is one of the pieces of this mysterious puzzle that assists in putting away more simplistic understandings of the nature of God, for to try and make God simple and understandable in human terms is to take away the brilliance and complexity and mystery of God we get a glimpse of today. Today's Gospel is an example of how exciting and beautiful and scary it is to live into this mystery of faith that we call our own.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection: The Known Unknown

Psalms 69:1-23(24-30)31-38 * 73; Ecclesiastes 11:9-12:14; Galatians 5:25-6:10; Matthew 16:21-28

So many times in life we can be "on" and then just completely miss the point. It is like we have this moment of clarity and understanding and articulateness that we then just lose the next moment.

We see that today with Peter, who chastises Jesus, taking him aside after Jesus makes his prediction of his Passion and death. And Jesus replies by calling Peter Satan. In yesterday's Daily Office reading, we are in this same chapter of Matthew, just six verses back in the chapter, Jesus is extolling Peter's brilliance and prescience in recognizing him as the Messiah. Peter had such clarity, and then when he hears what that Messiahship truly entails, he recoils and tells Jesus "no, no, no". I think Peter's terror shuttered his mind to the ability to see the path ahead. Jesus was walking into the known unknown, and Peter just couldn't (yet) get  to that place. 

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me, Jesus says after calling Peter Satan (after having just told him the church was going to be built on the rock that is Peter). Notice that Jesus says take up their cross not take up my cross. Jesus is telling his followers (including us) that we have to take up the cross each of us has and follow him into the known unknown. We need to give up certainty for uncertainty. Go to that place where things will be lost and yet greater things will be found. This goes against our human nature of wanting surety and understanding and certainty of outcome.

Walking into the known unknown, with Jesus as our guide. Something to think about today.

jfd+

Copyright 2008. John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Daily Office Reflection:Being Known

Psalms (70), 71 *74; Ecclesiastes 11:1-8; Galatians 5:16-24; Matthew 16:13-20

In our faith we believe that Jesus, when he was on earth, was both (and equally) fully divine and fully human. This is one of those mysteries of our faith that can prove to be such a quagmire for many people, but it can also be a place where rewarding reflection can take place.

Take today's Gospel selection from Matthew where Jesus asks the disciples who people say that he is and they tell him the word on the street is a bit confused: some say John the Baptist resurrected, some say Elijah returned, others Jeremiah, and others a prophet. Then he asks them But who do you say that I am? And Simon Peter wins the prize by identifying him as the Messiah, the Son of the living God. This is one of the few times Simon Peter gets it right, while Jesus is alive. Here he is not the usual bumbling foil the Gospel writers make him out to be. 

Jesus replies with accolades for Simon Peter and tells Simon Peter how Jesus will build a church around the rock that Simon Peter will become because of this profession of faith.....But what I'm curious about this morning is how did Jesus feel when Simon gets it. The human side of Jesus must have been conflicted: joyous that he is recognized and known for who and what he is by those closest to him, and yet I wonder if he was terrified too....It is one thing for a person to call themselves something (such as the Son of Man), but to be recognized by others, to be called by others something that you know that you are, but that is not widely known or understood, combined with the enormity of what is to come in Jesus' life, must have caused Jesus some concern. As fully human, those emotions must have been there within Jesus, just as they are with us.

I do not often call myself "Father" or ask people to do so, but I do think of myself and identify myself as a priest. The first time someone called me Father (as a title, not a parent) brought me the joy of being recognized, known for who and what I am, deep within me. It also kindled in me a fear and a terror: a holy cow, this is really real now moment. It is one of those yin and yang moments of life, great joy in being recognized and terror at being recognized. I find a comfort in knowing the God who loves us all, as we were created, can understand and support us through those moments of terror and uncertainty because God lived it.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved

Daily Office Reflection: St Barnabas

MP: Psalms 15, 67; Ecclesiasicus 31:3-11; Acts 4:32-37

EP: Psalms 19, 146; Job 29:1-16; Acts 9:26-31

What a wonderful thing it is to be "back" on line at home. My 8 year old Dell laptop died about 12 days ago....this was my home computer as well as the one I utilize at church. So to say that I was stranded without any food and drink is not an unimaginable analogy. I could pop onto someone else's computer at work on occasion to quickly catch up on emails, but it has been hit or miss. The church has ordered me a desk top which should be delivered next week, and my newly beloved, this MacBook Pro will be my home computer. The delay in purchasing this was: finding out if my reliable dinosaur could be fixed; research to decide what I wanted; and then waiting for investments to be cashed out so I could actually purchase the machine. That last one has proved the biggest sticking point, as I am still waiting for my money from my investment broker and, through the generosity of my good friend and mentor, I was able to buy this beauty a week earlier to allow me my "fix" of Internet.

And that is an interesting lesson of these past ten days: how very wedded I am to the Internet; how much I depend upon it for information, communication, entertainment, and staying in touch with friends and family and work. I found myself over the last ten days like there was a hole somewhere in the fabric of my being.

And this morning, as we remember and celebrate St. Barnabas, who gave so generously of his wealth and his time to the growing of the new church community being founded right after Christ's death, I am brought up short by the recognition of the fact that I do have many materialistic tendencies....Did I need to purchase such a fine (and expensive) machine? Could I have done just as well with something a bit less extravagant? Should I give more to the church of my financial wealth (I already give almost all my time to the church, so I don't feel brought up short on that front).  These are all rhetorical questions this morning....probably useful in keeping things in perspective. 

I am most very blessed to be able to purchase such a fine machine for my work and play and enjoyment. May I always understand how blessed and fortunate I am.

jfd+

Copyright 2008, John F. Dwyer. All Rights Reserved.

Computer problems

My 8 year old lap top died about a week ago.... while I tried to get it fixed I had no time/ability to make new posts......I am the proud new owner of a MacBook Pro and will be back writing daily reflections starting tomorrow AM. 

jfd+